First Love Story
The Hardest Thing Part 1
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Thing Part 1 | 2
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It all started when I was 6 years old. I met a boy while
I was playing outside on my farm in California. He was
an average kind of boy that you chased and beat up for
teasing you. After that first meeting where I beat him
up, we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the
fence. That only lasted for a little while though. After
that, we would meet at the fence all the time and were
always seen together there.
I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet and
would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy
to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In
school we had separate friends but when we got home we
would always talk about what happened in school.
One day I told him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke
my heart. He comforted me and told me everything would
be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped
me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real
friend. But I knew that there was something else about
him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured
that I loved him as a good friend.
All through high school till graduation, we're always
together and I thought it was normal as we were good friends.
But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently.
On graduation night, even though we had different dates
for the prom, I really wanted to be with him. After everybody
went home that night, I went to his house and told him
that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big
chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching
the stars and talking about our future plans instead.
I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about
his dreams. He wanted to get married and settle down.
He also said he wanted to be rich and successful. I told
him about my dreams and cuddle next to him.
I went home hurt because I didn't tell him how I felt
about him. I wanted to tell him that I love him so badly
but I was too scared and frightened to do so. I decided
to let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would
tell him how I felt. All through college, I wanted to
tell him about my feelings but he always had someone with
him.
After graduation, he got a job in New York. I was happy
for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go.
I was also sad because I didn't tell him how I felt. Nevertheless,
I couldn't let him know then as he was leaving for his
big job. Hence, I just kept it to myself and watched him
board the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt
was going to be the last time. I went home that night
and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell
him what I felt for him inside my heart.
I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way up
to be a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished.
One day, I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage.
It was from him. I was happy and sad at the same time.
I knew that I could never be with him ever again and we
could only be friends from now on. I went to the wedding
the next month. It was a big occasion. There was a big
church wedding and grand reception at a hotel. I met the
bride and him. I fell in love when him again on that day.
But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the
happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night
but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy
with another person. I tried to appear to be happy to
cover up the sadness and tears inside me.
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