Funny Love Story
Man
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted
to make love to you really badly.
She said . . . Well, you succeeded!
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing
board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery
money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an
orgasm?
She said . . . I would but you're never there.
On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows
me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world
does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming
a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband
is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed
and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
Man says: "But God, why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
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