Real Life Love Stories
My Life Part 2
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The normal situation when you ask for someone's hand
in marriage is they come back to you with a reply a few
days later. Hence, we were told they would let us know
their decision. A few days later, they came out with an
excuse to reject our proposal so it does not look too
bad on them. They claim Zia was too young. My parents
apologised to me saying they have done their best and
couldn't do anything more. I could not handle the failed
proposal and we decided we would not allow our families
to break up the love we share. Zia lived 700km away at
that time with her mum and 3 sisters. Knowing her family
won't approve of us, we carried on our secret relationship
again. We just could not let go of each other.
Being that far away from Zia, I was very lonely and it
was then when I happened to meet Jane. Jane and I became
very close as she was always willing to listen to me.
I had many moments where I felt useless and told Jane
about my inner feelings. There was so much obstacles the
love between Zia and me have to conquor.
Zia had a friend who was getting married and she was
invited to the wedding. Her friends and I have met on
many occasions. They supported our relationship and hoped
we could get married as well. I went for the wedding and
Zia and I share our thoughts about how we can deal with
our families. I love her so much but her family couldn't
understand. I was shock when I found out from her that
the following day after my proposal, her family had arranged
and allowed someone to come ask for her hand in marriage.
I went insane when I heard the news. These same people
told me she was too young to get married to me but now
all of a sudden, she is not. This confirmed to me these
people are money hungry bigots who are looking for their
own benefits and did not care about how Zia and I felt.
Zia cried and told me if she goes home tomorrow, they
are going to marry her off to someone else. I told my
sweetheart I would not tolerate that. We discussed and
agreed the best thing to do is to elope and get married
secretly. That way, nobody would ever keep us apart.
We got into a vehicle and left the wedding. We went to
a family member of mine and told them about our predicament.
They suggested Zia calls home and let her mum know she
is with me and not going back home. We also made our intentions
known that we intended to get married. Throughout the
night until the next morning, we were threatened by phone
calls claiming that all roads are manned and they would
be searching for us. My parents were very upset with me
as they felt this was not the right way to do things.
My entire family, including by uncles were involved in
the mess. Most of them felt I was tarnishing our family
name and we should not get married like this. They promised
me they will get us married but I need to do it in the
correct manner. I asked for the correct manner as I have
gone down that way and they wanted to marry her off to
someone else. They promise that we will start all over
again and guarantee we will be together as long as I give
her back. After some pressure from my parents, we agree
to abort our plans.
This only set the stage for another memorable chapter.
We arranged a meeting with her family to hand her back
and arrange an engagement the following week. At the meeting,
I was supposed to have my mum's brother representing me
and her uncles there to take her back and discuss things.
I noticed the moment I walked into the room, my uncle
was not there to represent me so as to save face for the
family. I sat there in what was supposed to be a discussion
only to get blasted by them for kidnapping their niece
and made to feel like the worst person alive. By this
time, I could not even look at Zia as I felt I have failed
her yet again. Being young and naive, I had no choice
but to remain silent and watch the love of my life being
taken away from me yet again. I suspected then that I
had made the mistake of not getting married while I could
and it would become even more difficult in the future.
Still, I would not give up hope and told them to keep
their promise to let us get engaged next week.
Zia went back to her family while all I had was hope
so I went back home. When I got home, things got even
worse as her family had no intention of letting us get
married. Zia was banned from leaving the house or even
answering the phone. She was given the hiding of her life,
leaving her bruised. Hearing this drove me insane. I have
failed my love yet again. I would sit up at night to imagine
talking to Zia in my mind, apologising to her as I have
failed her yet again. I am supposed to have protected
my love and I couldn't even do that. Her family was not
done with me. They manage to get hold of me on a Friday,
assaulted me and bundled me into the boot of a car. I
only got left alone when more people came to the vehicle.
I had 2 of her uncles assaulting me and one keeping guard
as they made it clear that I was never going to have her.
The following Monday, the police came to my house and
told me I was charged with kidnapping. I went to the police
station and also open a charge for assault. Her uncles
asked me to drop the assault charges and they would drop
the kidnapping charge. Well that took care of the legal
matters but it sure did not help me getting my sweetheart
back. Zia's accountant uncle was full of threats on what
would happen if I did not leave her alone. I realised
that I need to remember Zia has three other sisters and
they will all suffer if I push harder and that would make
Zia's life a living hell. That incident became a turning
point for me. I have failed my love in everything so far.
I couldn't ask for Zia and her sisters and mom to pay
for something I am totally responsible for.
As Jane and I became closer, I would tell her my most
inner thoughts and how confused I am in the direction
I should take. I would tell her how much I love Zia and
can't stand the pain I am putting her through. I also
joked with Jane that if we hook up, maybe Zia would forget
about me and move on to a better life. I felt that maybe
I am not good enough for her. She deserves the best but
all I have given her is pain, sorrow, heartaches and failure.
Feeling totally heartbroken and dying for a hug, I put
my arms around Jane for some comfort. That lead to Jane
and me kissing and somehow ending up spending the night
together. I woke up in the morning hating myself. I was
going insane and by now I felt terrible. Jane and I had
a talk the following day where I apologised for my actions.
I told Jane I love Zia very much and what happened with
us shouldn't have happened. She also apologised for being
too kind. She told me that at the very least, we are still
friends. I started having thoughts of hoping that if Zia
hates me, she would get on with her family wishes. I hated
myself as well because I have betrayed her.
I felt if I got involved with someone else, at least
Zia and her family will be spared the wrath of her uncles.
They could all move on with their lives and things would
get better and easier for her. I started a relationship
with Jane. Jane was always there for me when I needed
her and I guess she was the easiest for me to latch onto.
Jane and I discussed about Zia and I made it clear to
her that I could never love anyone as much as I love Zia
and if Zia ever needed me, I would be there for her. Unfortunately,
Jane got pregnant. I read this as a sign that I have to
let Zia move on with her life. I explained to Jane my
feelings for Zia and we discussed on how to handle our
situation.
Jane and I got married on the 1st of April 2000 with
her expecting our first child. I did my best to move on
with life so that will make it easier for Zia to get on
with hers. I hoped she would hate me so much that she
would find someone who would not fail her as much as I
did. Zia was sent away by her uncles to keep us out of
reach of each other. I thought this would help her get
along with her life. Despite being married, my love for
her was so deep I would go to bed every night thinking
and hoping she is okay. Jane knew how I felt at this time
and was very patient with me. I felt I hurt many people
around me including Jane. I was totally lost. Jane would
hug me every night and tell me that time heals old wounds.
I realised that Jane have actually fallen in love with
me. I was not sure if Zia's life got better as she would
have to keep the relationship between us a secret. If
anyone knew about it, nobody would marry her. I felt that
although I am trying to help her, I have stained her life
forever...
Zia finally got married. When I heard about it, I broke
down. I miss her so much. I still love her. I got a grip
on myself and realised that I should be happy for her.
I told myself that my sweetheart finally got her life
back and the love we share would be ours forever. Zia's
husband is a man whom I could not match up against. She
truly got the best. Her family allowed this marriage as
the husband to be is not me. All the talk of professions
went out of the window. Time has passed and the saying
time heals old wounds applies only if it is true. I tried
my best to contact her. I just needed to hear her voice
and tell her I am sorry for everything I had put her through.
After some searching, I manged to get her phone number.
I phoned her to check on how she was doing. Hearing her
voice gave me goosebumps. I tried to speak properly so
that she does not hear the lump in my throat and the tears
in my eyes. I ask her how she is doing and apologised
for my failures. I can hear in her voice the love we shared
is burning bright in her heart. She tries to hide her
feelings for me and I do the same. We always manage to
think for each other so well. She would always know what
I was thinking and so would I. We started to talk to each
other every now and then just to check that we are both
alright.
When Zia got pregnant, I was so happy that you would
have thought I was the father. Her life for once is going
in the right direction. We kept contact throughout the
years and yet we have been apart for twenty years. I still
feel her love in my heart. I guess I only look forward
to everyday hoping that I get a glimpse of my sweetheart.
My love for Zia is unconditional. I will love her until
my last breath. I feel guilty for my failures and misgivings
for people around me. Jane and I are still married and
I try to be a good husband and father for her and my two
kids, a daughter aged 16 and a son aged 12. I have also
grown to love Jane in a very different way as she have
been by my side all this time. I laugh, I joke I put on
a front that everyone accepts my life as they see it.
I live my life everyday with pain, agony and live purely
as a son to my parents, father to my children, a husband
to my wife and a failure to the one I love the most.
The 26th of December 2006 will be 20 years for Zia and
I.
The names in this story have been changed.
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