Short Teenage Love Stories
Mars and Venus Part 2
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He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for
him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers
to read, no television to distract her from her sense
of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?",
she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles.
The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral
Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left
Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires,
who were determined to destroy the human race. Within
two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian
ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,
they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the
ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
massive explosion, which vaporized Laurie and 85 million
other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going
to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic,
semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
&&^%)#@
(*#@!+^
Laughing
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